Move over Metal Slug, there’s a new sheriff in town! Gunslinging isn’t the main theme of the game we present to you today though. Today we present to you a futuristic shooter akin to Metal Slug and Megaman. Noitu Love and the Army of Grinning Darns is about more than fighting, it’s also about blowing stuff up! Like any sensible gamer, you won’t be able to resist such temptations, so don’t try to resist this amazing game.
While a city sleeps at peace, with no worry of war or death, little do they know that the evil Professor Darnacus Damnation is plotting their demise, at the hands of his Army of Grinning Darns! With evil technology of death, he is slowly turning the citizens of the fair city into monkeys. Who better to stop him than the little boy Noitu, who, with lots and lots of psychic power at his disposal, is all too happy to lay some electric zap in the evil old mans behind. But is Darnacus all he has to worry about? Yeh basically, besides his hordes of grinning robot darns.
Gameplay is something that even Noitu can’t shoot down in this game, as it’s amazingly detailed and professionally done. The main idea of a boy wielding guns is quite similar to Megaman, I’ll grant you that, but this game has much more in common with the arcade hit, Metal Slug. But don’t let that fool you, this game is a gem of it’s own, with no unoriginality to hold it back in the hall of freeware masterpieces. Time to stop jabbering nonsense and just get to the review already. In this game, you advance through massive levels taking down a certain number of robots at a time, before you can move on to the next screen. Very often, a miniboss will show up right when you least expect it. Don’t even think the halls of a house are safe from the wrath of the Darn Minibosses. There are some places that even Noitu needs help with, which makes the tranformation machines Darnacus left laying around very handy. This is where the games originality kicks in. You can turn into a monkey, a super-genius, and a bird, depending on the machine. The monkey allows you to jump high, but reduced battle ability. The super-genius triples your battle power, and allows you to use the computer terminals strewn throughout, for easy puzzle solving. The bird allows you to fly, cross gaps, and the like. Each of the games many and unusual bosses are as difficult as they should be, and require a bit of thought or puzzle solving to defeat. Hearts replinish health, and bottles lay everywhere, which give you an extra life if enough of them are collected. P Lightning powerups make you invincible, and triple firepower. Later levels have hazards like lightning, so be sure not to stay still for too long.
“It’s time to talk” ,the walrus said, “of graphics and sound”. The graphics in this game are very reminiscient of Metal Slug, with a sort of realistic cartoony feel. Even though it’s cartoonish, the graphics in the game give it a bit of a dark or apocalyptic feel. When playing the game, you really feel like you’re fighting a grinning robot army, just because of the graphics. Background effects, like fire and lighting, are animated very fluidly, as are the games many civilian and enemy characters. Each and every character portrait during dialogue has a smooth animation or facial look to it, giving each character a distinct personality.
The music and sound, I hate to say, is not jazzy or upbeat. Instead, I happily announce, it is filled with action and keeps you on your feet, while fighting and trying to stay alive. Every tune is like something pumped out of a Capcom game, with a bit of a technoish binary feel to each beat. I am happy to say that there is not one sound or musical score that is annoying, or made me turn down my speakers.
So to conclude, as I say at the end of all my reviews, this game is a wonderful amazingly professional piece of dastardly, or custardly, robot pie. I couldn’t resist the temptation to shoot robots, and blow stuff up, and neither should you, er, as long as it’s just in this game that you shoot stuff and blow stuff up. For a rousing success in being one of the greatest action shoot-em-ups I’ve had the pleasure of reviewing, I give this game 5 carrots.
Review by: Secret Fawful