Want to knock off some frustration? Boss told you you’re a poo-brained monkey? Wife think you need to get an operation to fix your bodily odor? Or even if you have normal problems, a Beat-Em-Up game can be just what you need to relax, by knocking the snot out of little pixelated figures. Joe & Mac is the perfect game for beating up baddies, as Joe & Mac are cavemen. That’s right cavemen, using clubs to relieve their frustration. Created using the Beats of Rage engine, Joe & Mac is a fantastic game when you want to be a violent person, and DESTROY! MWAHAHAH...Cough. Enjoy the game.
There isn’t much of a story in this game, but that’s all right. They’re cavemen, after all. The neighboring caveman tribe sneaks into your village by night, and steals ALL of your women. These women are exceptionally beautiful, so there’s no way your Prehistoric heroes are giving them up. You travel through seven different worlds, ranging from icy caverns to volcanic lava, all in your quest to crack caveman and dinosaur skull, and rescue your ladies. There are many perils in your way however, and you must hurry, before the evil tribe sacrifices your maidens to the most ferocious beasts in the land.
The graphical quality of this game is stunning, however, they are ripped graphics, so there isn’t much to say for the programmer except that he did an excellent ripping job. By themselves, the graphics are amazing, and the characters all come to life brilliantly. Sure, they have to feel pain, but you can’t help but laugh at their silly expressions as they do. It’s a little mean, but it’s VERY funny. There are many enemies, ranging from T-Rex, to hairy cavemen, even to saber-toothed tigers. The toughest part of the game though, is not clubbing away the minor enemies in your path, like the bee swarms, but the greatest challenge is defeating the EXTREMELY tough bosses. Ladies and gentlegamers, if you don’t like challenging bosses in your games,( bosses that make you tear out your hair and think, wow, this is tough!), then don’t come here. But if you do enjoy beating down enormous wooly mammoths, and knocking away the zombie bones of an enormous undead T-Rex, then this is the game for you.
The main gameplay idea behind this game is this: you walk to the right, and when you can walk no further, enemies mill into the screen. After you have dispatched every last enemy, even the cavemen riding motorcycles, dinosaurs, and helicopters (how they made this stuff is beyond me), you will be able to continue moving, until the screen fills with enemies again. After you progress through a certain number of levels, you will come to a boss, which takes much more effort to beat, due to his enormous health bar. Each boss is holding a woman captive, and upon defeating the boss, you rescue the girl, and earn your score for the level. Don’t worry about dying, because the game saves at the beginning of every level, and you have plenty of lives. You also have three attacks, swinging your club, pounding the ground, sending dirt flying into the air, or jumping and punching upwards. These attacks are very powerful, but your enemies are very strong, so watch out.
The music in the game is not too bad, but it isn’t very memorable either. It’s reminiscent of old Genesis titles(though I won’t remember these tunes, like I can remember and sometimes sing the tunes from, say, The Jungle Book). But hey, Joe & Mac is still a fantastic game. Music isn’t important for a Beat-Em-Up, and I was too busy having fun to notice the difficulty of the bosses. The characters and bosses are beautiful looking, and the backgrounds have an amazing amount of detail, from bones, to beehives. It is not a perfect game, but it is good enough to earn a score of 4.5 carrots. Why not exit your cave and go out for a good clubbing session, with Joe & Mac.
Review by: Secret Fawful